I have just returned from my appointment with my therapist. I am more on edge now than I was before I went. It happens every single time. Surely she has better things to do than to watch me pick at my nails, stare at my shoes and feel extremely uncomfortable for an hour.
I thought I would share with you a (sort of) transcript of today’s session so you could see what I mean.
Enter room sit down
Therapist : So how have you been?
Me : Fine and you?
Therapist : Good thanks, and how has your anxiety been since our last session?
Me : Pretty average
Therapist : And your mood? Have you been experiencing more or less depression?
Me : About the same
Stare at my shoes…. Pick at my nails… 10 minutes pass
Therapist : You seem anxious. Are you feeling anxious right now?
Me : Yep
Look awkwardly around the room, don’t make eye contact.
Therapist : So how have things been in general?
Me : Pretty average.
Therapist : So not much going on? No more or less stress?
Me : Nah.
Pick at nails, prey for time to hurry up… 20 uncomfortable minutes pass
Therapist : So is there anything you wanted to talk about today?
Me : Nope.
Therapist types on her keyboard for what seems like a lifetime
Therapist : So if there was nothing else you wanted to talk about today I will make a new appointment for you for the same time next week?
Me : OK.
And that’s it. That conversation took place over a 45 minute period.
I know I just need to nut up and tell her I don’t want to continue seeing her, but for some reason I can’t bring myself to do it.