I may only be 3 days into sobriety but I am struggling.
I used to wake up, and within 15 mins I would have most of my day planned out and within half hour of that I would have started on the list of things I had in my head. I would use alcohol as a motivational tool most days. Tell myself that once certain jobs where done I could have a drink. Now, without the reward of a nice cold beer, I just cant seem to get anything done.
Today I got up and made my mental list of things that need doing… then I sat down and haven’t gotten back up. Without my little reward system I just don’t seem to care enough that the floors need a vacuum and the window sills need dusting.
I thought briefly that I might bake some cookies once its all done, as a replacement reward, but then I just started thinking about the mess that would make and that I would have to clean that up as well.
I think staying sober is going to be a lot harder than I thought it would be. It goes beyond just not drinking. It seems to be a greater part of my life than even I had recognised.
Perhaps I will just go back to bed.